My 13th wedding anniversary

Today is my 13th wedding anniversary. And it is so bittersweet. Over the past few years, I have come to really not like yearly milestones like anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, etc. Because I saw each one as a reminder that I was still stuck in life. Not to be too melodramatic or anything, but the past two Christmases, my heart was so burdened with disappointment that all I could do was weep and hope the day would pass quickly.

 

But something has begun to take hold of our hearts in the past six months, a renewed passion for God himself. It is the idea that God is our highest treasure above all things, and it's actually true. That knowing Jesus and treasuring him above all other worldly things, including my own marriage, can actually bring joy in the midst of great sadness.

But I'm still stuck. Still need a job. Still waiting for some purpose in life. 

So it was this morning, when I wished my Beloved a 'happy anniversary' with sorrow in my heart because I knew it signified a 3rd consecutive anniversary marked with pain and disappointment. 

Happy anniversary...I'm sorry we're still stuck in life.

She looked at me. "We're not stuck."

When this world totally fails, the ground for joy remains.

Habakkuk 3: 18-19

Though the fig tree should not blossom,

    nor fruit be on the vines,

the produce of the olive fail

    and the fields yield no food,

the flock be cut off from the fold

    and there be no herd in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord;

    I will take joy in the God of my salvation.