The Answer is None

I am at work and my Beloved gives me a call. She mentioned that she had gone to Home Depot to buy some black paint. But she was distraught because, when she had gotten there, she realized that she forgot which shade of black she needed to buy.

Me: Which shade of black?

Beloved: Yes! I didn't know which color black to buy!

Me: But...black is black.

Beloved: Nooooo!!!

Me: Yes, black is the absence of color. There can't be anything other than black if it is black.

Beloved: Silly boy.

Which reminded me of one of my favorite scenes from Spinal Tap: